Dream Catcher

Communication is present in everything we do whether it is verbal or nonverbal. Business owners often get so caught up in running their business that they fail to make time to spend quality time with their loved ones. I want to remind you that what you are NOT saying may be misinterpreted by your family and friends. Does your spouse or children really understand what you are doing when you are not at home? Do they think networking events are fun gatherings with friends? Do they view your presence on social media as frittering away time?

When you work from home it is easy to work on your business every waking moment. You may even wake up early to get a jump start on your business. But, what message is this sending to your spouse? Is he or she interpreting your devotion to your business as an insult? Are you hurting his or her feelings and making him or her feel left out? Are you making your spouse feel inferior? Are you making your spouse feel like he or she is not a good provider? Have you stopped to think about what nonverbal message you are sending?

When was the last time you sat down with your spouse and verbally communicated what was going on in your business? When was the last time you asked your spouse if he or she was bothered by the amount of time you spend on your business?

Business owners, the keys to having a healthy marriage are communication; verbally and nonverbally.

My three tips below will help you bring balance to your life so as a business owner can having a healthy marriage.

1. Boundaries: Sit down with your spouse and discuss the hours you really need to spend running your business. Verbally communicate why you are working so hard so that the other person knows you are not avoiding him or her. Together establish boundaries for your business. This can be in the form of establishing work hours that you both honor. You may want to establish a set time to eat meals together. I suggest grabbing the calendar and planning date night and vacation time so that you do not schedule clients or conferences during that time. It may seem boring or callous to schedule time with your family but as a business owner you know that if you do not you will fill that time with client sessions or time working on your business. It takes a while to break old habits. Your new habit is to start spending time with your family if you have been a workaholic. You may want to establish a bedtime ritual or plan on spending a morning in bed together instead of jumping out of bed early to start working.

2. Actively Listen: Part of communication is actively listening to the other person. Do you really focus your attention on what your partner is saying or is your mind focusing on what you need to be doing? When your spouse or child is speaking to you I want you to disengage from business mode and actively listen to what he or she is saying. This includes paying attention to their body language. He or she may say he or she is ok if you cancel date night to meet with a client but his or her body language may be saying the opposite.

3. Respect Your Spouse & Family: Social media is one of my secret weapons to growing my business. However, respect your spouse and children’s wishes on how much you share about them and your personal life online. Again, sit down and verbally communicate. Ask your family members if they like or do not like what you are saying online. Social media is a great way to promote your business and build rapport with clients. But, do not do so at the expense of your family and friends. If your spouse or children do not want to be mentioned in your blog or social media updates then do not include them in your status updates. However, remember you will never know what your spouse or children are thinking if you do not ask them. Communicate!

Verbal and nonverbal communication are key to balancing being a business owner and having a happy relationship with your spouse and children. You must ask the tough questions. You must ask for feedback. It is ok to ask your family members if they feel ignored because of the amount of time you spend growing your business. I challenge you to go employ active listening while sitting down with your family and discussing their feelings and attitude about the amount of time you spend growing your business. Do not assume that your spouse and children see you as driven toward succeeding. They may think you do not want to spend time with them. Again, communicate, communicate, communicate.

Jaynine Howard is a retired United States Marine and former psychotherapists. She is the owner of Dream Catcher Business & Life Coaching. Founded in 2006, Dream Catcher Business & Life Coaching helps business owners, nonprofits, and individuals nationally and internationally turn their dreams into wealth and success. Coach Jaynine and her team of associate coaches will help you jump start your business and life through business, career, and life coaching. Jaynine is a member of the Jacksonville-Onslow Chamber of Commerce, the Carteret Chamber of Commerce, the American Psychological Association, 24/7 Coaching, and Coachville. You can download your free ecourse Stop the Snatchers and Grabbers at http://coachjaynine.com/blog/.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 23rd, 2010